The captain of our German soccer team reminds me of Ray Peterson

And then I'll ask them "Hey, what are you doing in there? Eating?"
 
Then you can raid their fridge without asking and throw a empty syrup bottle back in, and if you find a lighter go ahead and shove it in your pocket...haha
 
I can also circulate rumours about all the other weird neighbours and pretend that I talked to the real estate broad.
 
LOL Yeah tell them there's a arms dealer living across the street and a crazy person down it..
 
But then I'll calm them down by saying that my cousin is a priest and that he can get us some gallons of holy water. All wee need to buy afterwards is some fresh lamb's blood and a big string of garlic.
 
Yes but what if they refuse to listen by sticking their fingers in their ears and then begin chanting?
 
I'll make them aware of the incubus and the succubus. MUTILATIONS! MUTILATIONS!
 
And be sure to single out the one creepy neighbor who you suspect is building a dungeon in their basement...haha
 
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